hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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