Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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