well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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