We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
