If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
