Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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