Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
