Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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