You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
