About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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