After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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