Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
