Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
