So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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