So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
