Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
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And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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