I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
