I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
