The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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