...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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