Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
