i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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