So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
