Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
