where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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