I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
