I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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