i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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