First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
