did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
