Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
