how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
