You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize