That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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