Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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