Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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