She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
