the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
