Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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