the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
