A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
