i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The adults are the big ones right?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
