Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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