my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
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I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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