he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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