I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is Oprah even human
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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