please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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