i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
