The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
