I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Be still, my beating vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
