My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
