is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
