I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
two words: eviction party
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
