Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
