I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
