He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
