I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
