Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
