"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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