He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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