we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
