My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
