do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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