the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
how does that bad decision feel?
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