Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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