Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
