The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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