I heard we made out
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
