She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
