whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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