Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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