The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
