four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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